Under the paw

Okay, I have done some rants for the last few times, so I think it's time to write about something cheerful.

So, my sister got married. They got "secretly" married, but not so secretly, since they have to invite people from Sweden and Finland to their party. They had to send invitations early. Now I have a brother-in-law, and that's the closest I have ever been to have a brother. He's nice and what I have seen, he treats my sister well.

Also our living-arrangements have been settled. For now, at least. Still looking for a new apartment tough, not going to give up.

And although the title implies, it's not me under the paw; my parents. They have embraced my lovely little boy and learned to live with him. He is the King of this household, and they have fallen in love with him. So everything looks good on that side, too.

I started writing this in the morning. I have some trouble to adjust the fact that I'm turning years. It feels weird, and I find hard to react to other people. It feels really uncomfortable. Just like handing with people giving compliments, this is not my cup of tea. Totally out of my comfort-zone.

But I had a nice last day of 22.

I took a lot of pictures with my two friends, who I don't see nearly as much as I'd like to. We had some fun, played with two dogs and drank some coffee.

I'm sort of out of words. The reason I wanted to write is mostly for the sake of writing, to be honest. So to feel better, I'm going to share few photos I took.

Ain't no rest for the wicked | Bartender's toughts

I have been too overwhelmed to write about anything, really. I'm sorry about that. So, I'll bring you up to speed.

Nothing and at the same time everything has changed. My plans of becoming a wilderness-guide has taken few steps back, while my career as bartender has taken leaps forward. I probably wont be going up north next winter, but I don't think that I have any rush. I'll take my time.

But that's not all. I feel like I have finally had the true taste of what it's like being a bartender and I can fairly say that I'm addicted. After every bad happening something thousand times better has happened. Although let's face it; every year new patch of 18-year-olds are welcome to the bar and we have to teach them how to act in public. And on top of that, it's not the young ones who misbehave the most; it's the elder who need helping, understanding hand to guide them.

I have no problem identifying myself as workaholic. To be honest, I could not imagine myself in a work that I hate in order to gain money, power or status. I simply can't. I have to do what I love, otherwise I would be wasting my time. I understand, that it's never going to be pure roses and sugar. I don't want that sort of lies.

I think I have said this before, but one of the greatest perks is that I have is a lot of free time. Of course I have shorter shifts, but I also do 10-11 hours. So no 8 hour desk job, I like my style. And with the night time extras, my paychecks are pretty OK. Although it requires a lot of hours too and long shifts, I like it.

I have tough of having some type of hobby, maybe something that takes me more outdoors than taking pictures and sitting in front of my computer. I have been thinking of going back to volleyball or riding horses, I really loved those activities. But we'll see, what life gives.

After my last grandparent died, I have felt sadness and unbelief. So much has happened in this half-a-year-window, I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to feel anymore. Or if I'm supposed to feel at all. I feel like the Terminator, a machine. Just doing my thing with my heart hardly beating of feeling anything. I do understand that I'm supposed to be sad and then get over it, but I am functional even if this short of things happen. I'm not a loon or even mentally broken, I simply can box things and deal with them when I feel like it.

Oh, I have to share my grandfathers last joke. As he was placed in the elderly house, the nurses asked why didn't he have a wheelchair. He answered; "I will not sit on wheels if they don't give me one with V8-engine!".

So, from cradle to grave, always with a joke. With a smile. That's my grandfather for you.