Personal - What about looks?

I have desided to make a stand here.

Just so we are clear - I love my style. I like wearing my clothes, I like my makeup and what's most important, I love my hair. My mohawk (growing it to deadhawk) is the best. When I was teenager, I understood that to really like myself I can make changes. I had brown, long hair. I cut it to my shoulders and colored it orange. That's how all of this started. I have never enjoyed looking like every other girl, I have always liked popping out in a special way. And believe me when I tell you, people laughed a lot to me.

But now, when I have side cuts, sometimes even side balds. Somehow people think it's okay to comment on the way I look, because it's so radical. But then again, people who comment usually don't pop up like I do. They would disappear in the sea of people with their plain everything. I have never understood why people want to lose themselves, scalp every humane, sweet and weird parts off just to belong, even if it was a lie.

The thing is, if you repeat a lie long enough, you can make yourself believe that it's true. But lie is always a lie. And I simply can't understand why anyone would hurt themselves by hiding who they really are just to impress someone? If you have to impress by changing who you are, is it worth it?

Change is sometimes good. Sometimes it makes you better, stronger and wiser. But sometimes you forget who you really are.

So when you feel the urge to look at me and people like me and state that "We look exactly to same", please shut up. Yes. There are about less than million who look like me. But almost everyone who passes you by look like you. So who are you to comment on me?

Also, people saying things like "your hair is amazing" and "I wish I was brave enough", it's just hair. It'll grow back. Also, you are probably the persons who have looked the same their whole life (because mother knows best how you should wear you hair) and to state out, I would be scared to go to a professional looking like they do. It's embarrassing.

Let me hear you scream. And I mean it.

Bartending - Holidays and sickdays

As we all know, when you normally work an 8-hour desk-job (or basically any other non-restaurant job) you have some days off. If you get sick, you take some time off, the shifts you have probably never changes in 24 hours of notice (or if they do, it's rare). You have vacation time on calendar holidays...

Probably have been said before, but still standing behind it: I couldn't imagine myself in a "40-hours in a week" kind of job with free time on weekends. Never. But after seeing some new faces on the restaurant business, I desided to write this piece. Also, these are few of the things that can tell whenever you are fit for a month versus making a living out of it. So, here we go.

Let's start with in sickness and in health. If it's not contagious (because you work face-to-face and with groceries) or if you have all your limbs together you're good to go. Or at least most of us don't want to quit. Why? With the payment we have, you do pretty short but exhausting (physically and mentally) hours, so it doesn't seem like a big deal. We want to do those hours too, working in a bar can sweep you out of your feet and it feels weird to be away. Or that's how I see it. So you take sick-leave only when it's bad. I'm not taking any sides, I think that you (and your doctor) are the only one(s) to determine your health and what you can and can't do.

And about holidays. Christmas, birthdays, you name it. Every "normal people" day off is a working day. Because hey, if I wouldn't work, you could't have your beer at a bar. You'd have to have it in your home. Or risk being harassed by the police, they really don't take public drinking well. So in the events including having a beer, sparkling wine and shots, people should be happy that people like me exist. The thing is not to be too attached to some specific day; you can always celebrate early or after.

Also, social life is past the roof. Staying in shape and saving money is pretty easy, when you work the hours most people make so called "bad decisions". And you actually have a chance of making sure that people are safe and maybe even prevent the worst ideas people get when they are drunk. I don't believe that you can blame it on alcohol. Every time you have to apologize and include words "but" or "you don't understand" or basically anything to explain the situation, you have done wrong. And under the influence of alcohol or anything actually, you as an adult have to take the responsibility. And note; if you are an adult and want to be treated like one, act like one.

Of course it feels hard sometimes. Of course you miss some nights. But what you get in return, if you love what you do, you can do it.

Band update - Avenged Sevenfold with special guests Disturbed and Chevelle

Exactly week ago I got to see my favorite band play live. Also I got the chance to shake off my anxiety of crowded places... Or to fight it a little, at least.

So. I went all alone to Hartwall Arena in Helsinki, where the concert was held place. It seemed bigger than I had imagined, but things went really smoothly from parking to the actual concert and leaving home. Surprisingly smoothly, I'd have to add.

First one was a band called Chevelle. I have never heard about it before, but it sounds pretty good. Especially on live. I have a sample for you, a song called "Door to Door Cannibal". I didn't take any photos of the band, I'm afraid. I saved my camera for Disturbed and Avenged.

Then. The best of the best; Disturbed. I have waited for almost five years to see them go live. For my unfortunate, the year I first heard of Disturbed was also the year they desided to have a break from recording and doing concerts. So finally, after five years I got to see them go live, and they were amazing. I loved every second of it, even the media wrote that Disturbed was the best that night. Although I don't think that Chevelle has that many fans here in Finland. And Disturbed-fans were probably the most exited. For their song I have chosen one of my favorites; "The Light".

And last but not least; Avenged Sevenfold. I'm actually not that big of a fan, but I do like their music. Between bands I had to think if I was going to stay and listen. I had paid to see them, but I was scared about the amount of people rushing to their cars. I'm glad I stayed. Although there was a drunk idiot (who made noise for three songs and then got thrown out) it was amazing. From them, the song to listen is my favorite of all time; "Nightmare".

It was fun. Whole night. I do recommend all, if you like something better than pop. 

Disturbed - Down With the Sickness

Avenged Sevenfold - Nightmare